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As we enter yet another summer season with talks of insanely high gas prices, I am forced to remind people that we don’t actually need to drive anywhere. You can do everything you need to do, right from your computer! The only reason people aren’t doing this now is because they aren’t used to doing it! Think I’m making it easier than it really is? Let’s take a look at the most common reasons people drive:

To get to work. This is simple. Quit your day job and get a job online. You can work the hours that you want, work in your bathrobe and be your own boss! From affiliate marketing to search engine optimization, there are plenty of online jobs that you can dip your hands into.

To buy groceries. Welcome to the 21st century! You can buy all of your groceries online and have them delivered right to your doorstep! As an added bonus, you won’t have to wait in any more lines!

Go on vacation. Pff. For what? Sunbathing? Head out back, lay a towel down in the yard and soak up the sun. Oh, you want to see a beautiful sunrise and take in the scenery? Piece of cake. Google Earth allows you to watch sunsets from different places around the world! If you want to just take in the scenery, head on over to Flickr and look at the millions of photos from all over the world. Let other people spend their money!

Meet other people. Seriously? Do I really need to explain this one? Sigh. Forums, chat rooms, Facebook, Twitter and online dating sites will have you connected with thousands of people faster than a Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick!

Family Reunions. Like you really want to go to these. To get out of it, all you need to do is setup Skype. You can call them on their computer for free, and if you setup a webcam, you can look at them too! As an added bonus, you get to control the level of interaction with your in-laws! If they start getting on your nerves, just hang-up on them and blame it on Skype! It will feel great. If you want to get even more family members involved, use Yahoo! Live.

Don’t even think about saying, “but I can’t hug my niece!” Sure you can, just convince them to come visit you. It doesn’t defeat the purpose because they will be driving, not you.

Take your kids to school. Public schools are overrated. Your kids can learn anything they want from Wikipedia. Just sit them down in front of the computer for 8 hours, and you won’t believe the things they learn!

Go to a bar. Just like you can do with groceries, you can purchase alcohol online! Have as much alcohol as you want, and don’t worry about getting a DUI!

Medical reasons. I’m not the biggest fan of doctors, and I will only see one if forced. In reality, can’t you just live with whatever is ailing you for a little bit longer? Have a sinus infection? It will go away soon enough. Just get some rest and be patient. If it is a real emergency, you can just dial 911 and they will come to you!

I guess a better question is: Can you think of something that you can’t do online?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at 10:14 am in Misc..